So Hunter the Vampire from a small planet orbiting the Alpha Centauri star had just bitten the “exotic dancer” named Destiny. She had wanted to scream but couldn’t because his mouth was around her neck and it stopper her from screaming. Her warm sticky red blood had just started to come out of the vein in her neck in spurts has her heart pumped it through her body and into the vampires mouth. He was tasting it and it was wonderful like it always was, salty and coppery like a salty copper penny. He was just getting into it when there was a loud crash behind him.
The Vampire turned his head to look and in the process dislodged his teeth. Blood dripped down onto his jacket and he didn’t like that so he was thinking about how he would enjoy killing whoever had interrupted them too. But has he turned a big flood light came on and made him let out a long hiss and cover his eyes. A mist started to roll over the hill and he could see this other man silhouetted there against the light and mist that was rolling over the hill.
The other man had just jumped out of the tree nearby and landed, which was what the crash was that he had heard. But now the other man was standing up. And he looked totally awesome there with the light behind him and the mist rolling around and on top of that he just looked really badass anyway. He had a crossbow in his hand that fired wooden stakes and he had wooden stakes strapped across his chest like Rambo would have bullets if the bullets were huge and made of wood. His face was stone tough, and his eyes looked like they were ready to deal death.
The man said toughly, “You best be stepping away from that pretty young lady so I can kill you proper.”
Hunter said, “Its you again Odinkirk. Why can’t you just leave me alone instead of always coming after me and stopping me from having my fun?”.
The man, who was indeed called Odinkirk by some, said, “You should know that I’m a Vampire Hunting Warrior Monk and its my sworn duty to find a kill and hunt vampires and that i can’t rest until the world is clear of your heinous kind and also that I’m not just going to let you kill and cause mayhem. But this time you’re going to die.”
Hunter said, “Oh yeah? Fancy words but you haven’t killed me yet!”
And then Odinkirk had a fire grown in his eyes because that made him really mad. He said, “You’d better pray, because now your my prey.”
And then Hunter seeing that he was really mad turned and run off into the forest because he knew that Odinkirk really wanted to kill him and totally would.
And Odinkirk wanted to run off after him but he couldn’t because he heard the girl say a quiet moan and so he had to not chase him but leave him until he could get him another day.
So he went over to the girl and picked her up and cradled her in his arms like a really big baby. He was strong so he carried her back towards his truck which he had also parked in the parking lot of the “exotic dance” club. His truck was also badass. He had flames on the side and a skull on the hood and there were marks on the side from all the vampires he had killed.
But when he got back to the truck he lowered her into the back of the truck after putting down the tailgate. And then from a bottle that was attached on his belt which he pulled out off his belt, he opened the top and put it under her nose. It was garlic smelling salts and it woke her right up. She already didn’t like the smell because she was going to turn into a Vampire if he didn’t do something and so he held her head and then with the hand that wasn’t holding her head took another bottle from his belt. This one had liquid in it too and it smelled like garlic too.
He said to her, “You’ve been infected and i need you to drink this. It’s going to hurt like hell because it’s Holy Water blessed by the Pope infused with garlic but if you don’t drink it then you’re going to become a vampire and then I would have to kill you. And you have really nice breasts and I wouldn’t want to ruin them by putting a steak through them. Haha.”
And she looked at him, and trusted him, even though just the smell of the liquid in the bottle was already scaring her. So he lifted the bottle to her lips and held her head steady and she squirmed but then he dumped it in and held her mouth shut like I’ve seen the vet do when she wants Buddy to take medicine that he doesn’t want to. And she tried to scream even though he covered her mouth and she tried to spit it out but he held her mouth shut good. But he felt bad because he could see that she was really in pain and that it was a terrible experience in her eyes.
But finally she calmed down. He could see she was sweating from her for head so he wiped it off with a rag that he picked up from the back of the truck which was kindof greasy and dirty but it made her feel better and she didn’t mind.
Finally she could talk and she said, “Who.” And then she paused and then she said “Or WHAT was that man.” And she paused again! and then she said “Or alien vampire thing!”
Odinkirk looked at her and smiled and he said, “He’s a space vampire. And that’s the worst kind.”
She thought about this and then thought she understood so she said “i understrand”.
He said, “Well he’d gone for now and probably won’t be back around here. And you should be ok and that makes me happy. But did you learn anything about going off with strangers into the woods.”
And she said, “Yeah, I learned its not a very good idea.”
And they both had a good laugh at that.